Day 9: My Beliefs

I'm assuming this post is about religion?  It's no secret that I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, aka a Mormon.  {I have a button on my sidebar for heaven's sake.}

I was born into the church, and always went to church every week with my family up til graduating high school.  All my best friends were also Mormons, and either in my ward, or at school, we all attended seminary together.  I always had people to go who were members to talk to them about issues and they knew how to answer my questions with church doctrine or with a scripture.  I was told by my old bishop that he always saw me as someone who would always be strong in the church throughout my life.

But, I didn't always agree with it.  Don't get me wrong, I still believe in the church and it's teaching, but I don't know, I just kind of don't want to go to church that much anymore. And I never liked how much people based EVERYTHING in their life off of the church, even though that's what we've taught since we were 3 years old.

Upon coming to Flagstaff, I lost the fellowship that I had when I was at church in Mesa.  I had grown up with the people in Mesa, and although I knew some people from Mesa up in Flag, they were in the other ward and I never saw them.  I desperately tried to make new friends, but everyone already knew each other and were a few years older than me and the new freshmen.

I did end up making a new friend who lived in my hall, and we were church going buddies.  She made me go to church when I really didn't want to. But, then she stopped going one day. So the cycle kinda started up again, because I didn't have a buddy there anymore, and I had a group of friends that always somehow convinced me not to go.

Then, during the summer, I was scheduled to work basically every Sunday, so I hardly went to church then.  And now, I ditched for a good month plus some, and I'm barely going regularly.

What I guess I'm trying to allude is that I love the Gospel, but when it comes to church, I think I was sheltered too much growing up.  I told David this story{sorry. I'm talking about him again} and he gave me the advice that it's my choice on how I want to go about it.  I either need to suck it up and stop thinking about myself and go to church or do the opposite.  That's what the church is about..agency.
I'm going to church, but I think I need to become converted again.  And let me tell you, my missionary is partially one major reason why I'm still this active.
I need to learn to live for myself though.  So hopefully it'll happen one day!