Missionary.

So, if you ever talk to me about having a boy in my life, I always attribute my liking to a certain missionary. Or if people ask me if I have a boyfriend, I claim that I have a missionary that I'm waiting for.
But the truth is, we've never officially dated, nor gone on a date.  Nor am I even 100% sure that he ever really, truly was interested in me.
Sometimes, I wish I never came up to Flag just so I could have had the chance to be around him more..Maybe then something would have happened more between us.
Yes, there is evidence that he could have been interested in me; evidence from before he left on his mission, and even now while he's on his mission.  But I'm a doubter.  I don't like to believe things until actions are made and sincere words are said.
The evidence? Old Facebook messages that I have archived for my reading pleasure. (Let me tell you, I CRIED when I discovered I still had them and read through them.) And now, I have a small handful of people ask me when the last time I've heard from him, and I reply, and they sigh an exasperated sigh saying that they wrote him months before and still haven't heard from him, where I've gotten a letter or two since that point.  He also emails me.  Well, he hasn't since November 26th, but he still has emailed me.  (Mondays come with a bigger disappointment when I don't have a email waiting from him.) And from what I've gathered, he's not really supposed to email anyone other than family, so that's saying something.

I don't know.  Maybe I'm scared that this is too good to be true.  I mean, it's ME. Emily. The awkward fat girl who barely got her braces off a month ago and is still fighting zits.  (I don't understand how you people can have flawless faces! BLAH.) Me, the girl who has never even been on a date, let alone been kissed. (DISCLAIMER: yeah, it's true I've been asked/asked boys to dances, but I've never been on one of those cutesy group dates that everyone seems to have nor on a single/double date. That's what counts in my mind.)  Me, the girl who sits on a computer basically 24/7 (except for when I'm in class or by some miracle, I'm with "friends".), and who honestly doesn't have more than one actual true friend who would actually give her the time of day.

But, to be honest, I'm glad I have my missionary.  Even life kinda sucks right now, I have something to look forward to. Namely, his letters, and his coming home in a year and 1 1/2 months.   I'm not saying that he and I are going to go on and be married within the month of him being home (even though that'd be super duper exciting..I think), but I know that I at least have a friend that I could finally give a giant hug to (and maybe a kiss) and thank him for helping me get past this last (almost) year and helping me to survive the next.