Update I guess?

Well, it's been a while. 
I finished my last semester up at NAU.  I only have one more semester, student teaching, left to do and then I'll be graduated in May.  Where has the time gone? I will have finished my college career in 3 years, and before I turn 21.  I'll turn 21 the same week I will commence for graduation.  I don't want to have to grow up.  It's 4 months away. 
With me being done at NAU though, that means I'm in Mesa again.  And I don't want to be.  I don't want to be in Flag either.  I want to travel. I just want to disappear one day and not return for a couple months because all I was doing was exploring and experiencing.  But that's unrealistic.  I have too many responsibilities and no money to do anything of that nature. 
I also am down to no friends basically.  Unless you count my cat.  My one friend went and got a boyfriend, and she already has her clique.  I understand that it's weird for her to have me suddenly back in her life full time, and having to incorporate with her clique that she has.  Not that they don't like me, it's just that they really don't know me to know how to interact with me.  Yesterday at church was super uncomfortable, because I was surrounded by a bunch of people that I knew but haven't talked in to for months or even years, and I'm expected to nicely mesh in with them, because they're in her clique.  I don't know.  Hopefully time will help.
My other friend, I just haven't wanted to hang  out with her.  Even though I am feeling so lonely here, I know she's lonely too, and all we'll do is  wallow in loneliness.  Because that's all we do basically.  I don't want to be around people who text you because they're pitying themselves.  That's my problem with the other friend too, she won't ask me to hang out unless she's already at the place, and it's halfway over.  I'm sorry, but I don't need pity.

My sister's engaged now.  How much you want to bet that she'll be married before I even get a boyfriend? Because it's highly likely.   She's planning on an October wedding, and guess who gets to plan it all?  Well, not that I'm not thankful for the chance to plan a wedding, because I've been wanting to help someone plan a wedding for like a year now, but it's just, she's already had her turn.  And for her to get a second chance before I even have an inkling of one, just doesn't seem fair. 
Tomorrow at midnight is the start of a new year.  I guess we'll see if it'll be good to me.