right now, midterms upset me. I've been reading nonstop all night for the most part. Sigh.
The biggest thing that upsets me is people not realizing that I care too much. People think that if I get mad at them once, that's the end of our friendship. You just have to realize that if you care about me, I freakin' care about you until the day that you completely want me out of your life. And even then, I'll still care about you for a while after it all.
It's just happened to me way too much to start to care about more people in my life. Well, that's a lie, I'll still care about you if we become friends, but I can barely let people get to become a lifeline, because I know that one day, they're going to leave me for "something better".
That's what upsets me. People who say that I'm their friend and they'll always be there for me, but the one time that I try to cash in that help, I get denied. And I won't lie, I still get disappointed when I get let down even though I do not expect much out of anybody anymore. It turns out, in my life, I always end up giving more and I don't know how long I can take it anymore.
That's why I keep to myself, so I can focus on myself for once. I need to care about myself instead of others, and I know how selfish that sounds.
Maybe, if I stop letting myself down, others will stop letting me down.
That's what upsets me.
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